Sailor Moon:The Warped Chronicles Part 1: Rabid
by Shards Of Life
Summary: Luna and Artemis mysteriously get rabies and it's up to the Senshi to find out who is responsible.


1 Sailor Moon: The Warped Chronicles  
  
--The wall outside Usagi's house--  
  
1.1 Mamorou: I just can't be around you Usagi, you don't know about the dreams.  
  
Usagi: Oh not this garbage from R again...  
  
Mamorou: Why won't you ever listen, you never listen to me!! ::runs away crying and flailing his arms like a girl::  
  
Usagi: ::blink blink:: No wonder I cheated on you with a woman, she has more testosterone than you do..::louder:: and she's a REAL senshi!!  
  
Seiya: ::Walks up beside Usagi holding a can of Guiness beer and releases a mighty belch:: Buh-RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!  
  
  
  
--In the CD store-  
  
Yaten: I may look like a girl in male firm, but at least I look like girl in girl form! You look like a girl trying to be a guy in guy form and a guy trying to be a girl in girl form!  
  
Taiki: Oh well let's see who looks like what, I'll ask one of these people!  
  
Yaten: Go for it uterus tosser.  
  
Taiki: ::Walks over to the clerk at the counter:: Excuse me, do you think I'm a guy or girl.  
  
Clerk: ::sweat drop on the back of his head:: Uhhh.errr..uhhhhhhhh.mmmm.ehhhhhh..  
  
Taiki: ::Grabs on pulled up bangs and rips two handfuls out squeezing her eyes shut and releasing a scream similar to the old Godzilla and runs out of store::  
  
Yaten: O.O ...I did not see that one coming..  
  
--Back Inside Usagi's house-  
  
Usagi: ::Walks into her bedroom:: Luna, something's wrong with Mamorou, besides his lack of balls, maybe he's been turned evil..again.  
  
Luna: I'm rabid.  
  
Usagi: Huh?::Backs up as Luna flies at her, Luna clings to her face and her eyes just go wild as she makes a reowwwrrrrrrr sound, Usagi stumbles to the wall and smacks her face repeatedly against it::  
  
Luna: ::Stangely calm:: Ow..ow..ow.::pause in the smacking:: You're going down moon-bitch..::reprise in smacking:: ow..ow::finally flies off Usagi's face and out the window from the force of the smacking::  
  
Usagi: ::sighs and then jumps from new growling:: Oh not you too Artemis!  
  
--Haruka and Michiru walking past Usagi's house-  
  
::They stop and listen::  
  
Usagi: ahhhh!!!::banging sound is heard::  
  
Michiru: Should we see if everything is ok?::Cat cry is heard followed by what sounds like trash cans falling over::  
  
Haruka: Nah she's ok.  
  
--Later, all the Inner Senshi are gathered outside on the porch of Rei's temple--  
  
::Luna and Artemis are completely wrapped in body casts covering everything but their eyes, noses and crescent moons::  
  
Usagi: So I think that the cats being rabid and Mamorou being even MORE awkward are somehow tied together in some Black Kingdom plot.  
  
Rei: Usagi.we defeated the Black Kingdom and Chaos.are you sure neither of the cats bit you?  
  
Ami: Maybe it's some sort of like cosmic groove thing that leads us to the glowing igloo.:: All the girls look at her with wide eyes::  
  
Minako: Ami..I thought your mom got rid of all the NyQuil after what happened last time.  
  
Ami.Look, I told you I was sorry for putting itching powder in Artemis's litter pan!! And she did but she doesn't know that I still have the rubber cement.  
  
  
  
--Right outside hidden by the wall of the temple, the four Outer Senshi are transformed-  
  
Uranus: Hmm, this is what the big meeting was all about, here I thought we could get something to act all secretive and show them up about.  
  
Neptune: Well, we could investigate it for the hell of it, nothing better to do.  
  
Saturn: Yeah, my plan for the day was if there wasn't anything on TV tonight I was going to obliterate the Universe..what do you think Pluto? ::they all turn to her, but she doesn't notice while she's standing a little off from the, holding her time rod in one hand and casually picking her nose with the other, suddenly she hears the silence and feels the stares and she turns her head toward them::  
  
Uranus: Oh..you're doing that in public?!  
  
Pluto: Hey!! You develop some bad habits standing in front of a door for a couple of eons at a time!!  
  
--The Inner Senshi, Starlight and Tuxedo Kamen are in front of the school--  
  
Mars: So what are we doing here anyway?  
  
Moon: The author must not have found a better way to get to this point in the plot.  
  
Jupiter: Let's do it! ::spins around sending exploding leaves at the front of the school, many screams are heard::  
  
StarFighter: Umm, Jupiter, they have extra curricular activities going on at the school on the weekends.  
  
Jupiter: I know..and not no more they don't, put a stop to that evil plan.  
  
--Sailor StarHealer walking through one of the halls alone::  
  
StarHealer: Sheesh, you tell someone their extremely androgynous and the other one that they look like Mamorou with long hair and they don't want to be your best friend's anymore. Their just jealous that I'm better looking and smarter and should be put on a peda..::stops mid-sentence when a young girl holding a strange wand whips around the corner..::  
  
Sakura: Alright I found the Fullofitself card!  
  
StarHealer: What the hel..::is cut off again by Sakura cracking her in the temple with her wand, sending StarHealer straight to the floor, Sakura continues to hit her with the wand as Kero flies to her side.::  
  
Kero: That's it Sakura, show that Clow Card who's boss, yeah, harder, more blood!::Eyes widen and roll up in pleasure ::HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
--The rest of the group runs into the library where the meet up with the Outer Senshi-  
  
Usagi: What are you guys doing here?  
  
Uranus: Yeah what are we doing here, do you know Pluto? ::They all turn to see Pluto off to the side picking her nose:: Why do you keep doing that?!  
  
Pluto: Why do you keep asking me these questions?! I'm the supreme guardian and master of time itself, not some powerful all-knowing being!  
  
::Somone walks in :: Yes, I RABINATOR, have created the ultimate plan!::  
  
Usagi: You mean the one where you gave our cats rabies and managed to take the last of my boyfriend's dwindling manhood?  
  
Rabinator: The cat thing is right but I'm afraid your boyfriend is just a spaz.  
  
Usagi: Oh ::takes out her moon tier and rams the end into Tuxedo's gut and then cracks him on the back of the head with the other end when he grabs his stomach in pain, Tuxdeo then proceeds to drop to the floor in the fetal position::  
  
Rabinator: Yes, now I will conquer the exact one mile radius of this spot and no one can stop me hahahahaha! ::continues to laugh maniacally while walking backwards into the front of a bookshelf causing it to topple on him, the senshi stand there blinking::  
  
Uranus: This was so stupid.  
  
StarFighter: Hey, where's StarHealer, and StarMaker what happened to your bangs?  
  
--Sakura is flying home on her wand with Kero on her shoulder--  
  
Sakura: This is one strange looking Clow Card ::StarHealer's face and hands look smushed up against the card from the inside like someone on a window with a label on the bottom saying The Fullofitself::  
  
StarHealer: ::Muffled:: For the loved of God let me out! I'm running out of air and I think I can taste my inner organs!  
  
Kero: Hmm, I guess it's a mystery of the Clow and we'll never know. ::They continue flying toward the sunset, 'Ordinary Girl' plays in the background::  
  
1.1.1 The End 


End file.
